So I havn't been on this in quite a while. And from reading my pervious posts I feel like I changed quit a bit. I most def matured in some ways. Now when I feel depressed or down which is quit often since I completely lost control of my life, I think about how people in 3rd world countries live and how I'm lucky compared to them. But you know what I'm starting to get tired of that. Losing control of my school life, my family breaking apart. I'm not going to sit here and say im lonely because I have so many amazing people in my life. But I just want that understanding. I'm sick of people acting so perfect. I want that understanding from people where I can talk about everything and open up. Like honesty when was the last time we REALLY talked about what was going on in the world and with our lives. It seems like today all we do when we talk is bullshit. Why?? I have no clue. All I know is that i'm lost. Allah take mercy on me and show me the way to go. Take away all the things that are bothering me and show me the right path. They say when you take one step towards god, he takes 10 to you. I believe their comes a time when in ones life he/she is wanting to give up. Not killing urself but give up trying. You just ask yourself, whats the point?? I believe I'm going through that phase or whatever you want to call it. And it just gets tiring, it really does.